The Buffet Problem
The buffet problem. The heart of the buffet problem is the issue of choice. The more the options abound, the harder making choices becomes.
So, on a menu you will often have a multitude of different options. The longer the menu, the harder the choice. But choose you must and choose you do. A buffet is different…..
Some years back I went on a number of cruise holidays. Modern cruise ships are equipped with a buffet restaurant. And the Royal Caribbean ship, Anthem of the Seas, comes with the Windjammer Marketplace. A literal marketplace of cuisine from all over the globe. When all options are available to you, choice is nearly impossible. And so, I would head back to my table with a meal that was part Indian, part Chinese, part American, part British and part Italian and ALL of it confused.
My meal was confused as it lacked focus. A sweet and sour Balti Arrabbiata on a sour dough base, topped with cheese burgers.
The Life problem
The buffet problem is a good illustration of the life problem.
From an early age, we have potential built into us. Our education is often aimed to give us an introduction to everything and later in life we are expected to choose. We are expected to focus.
The trouble is, in modern times especially, a different idea has crept in that is totally at odds with this.
The idea that we can, and indeed should, ‘have it all’.
And so in life, as so often at a buffet, we fail to make choices and we fail to focus.
You see, your focus is determined not exclusively by what you say ‘yes’ to. Your focus is established by what you say ‘no’ to.
And here in lies the problem so many of us face. To focus, is to intentionally limit ourselves. This we do not like.
The Time Problem
The time we have is fixed. The time we have is limited. 24 hours in a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Time is limited. 75 ish years alive and less than that when we are able to be effective. Time is limited.
Not just time, energy and capacity is naturally limited as well. We can work to increase our energy and our capacity but we can never make them unlimited.
So, here is the uncomfortable truth we all face. We will ALL focus. Time and energy will limit us in ways that we cannot avoid. Look back over your last 24 hours. You will have done things (even lying in bed eating Cheesios is a ‘thing’). Ask yourself – what did you focus on?
Time and energy limits will mean that some things we simply cannot do and will never be able to do.
Have you ever said to yourself, or to someone else, I wanted to do that, I hoped to do that, but I did not get around to it. I did not have time. Time and energy constraints…. they force your hand. Force you into saying no to things. Force limitations upon us.
And so, across our days, weeks and years and across the full span of our lives, we will focus. We will give time to some things and not to others.
The question, is what determines what we set our focus upon.
What you say no to.
As I said, your focus is determined by what you say no to. We will all say no to some things in practice because we simply never do them.
Perhaps you really want to spend more time with your family, but work is just so busy, it never seems to happen. Maybe you long to spend more time in reading, study and self development, but the hours you have seem to get eaten up by chores and jobs and sorting things out.
In practice, the things you say no to, are just the things that you do not give time to. In principle and in theory, these are the things that are important to you. But in practice, it never happens. So, in truth you are focussed on something else.
This is where intentionality and decision making comes in to play. It is not just about deciding what is important and writing it out. It is about working out what you need to do in order to ensure that the important things get the time you want them to have.
And, there is only one way to ensure you have time for these things.
Only…one…way.
Saying ‘no’ to other things.
Saying no in big and small…
That could be in big decisions, like rejecting opportunities for advancement in one area of life as it would infringe on another area we consider to be of higher value. For example, rejecting a promotion as it would mean more time away from home.
Or, it could be in small things, like leaving and ignoring the mess that you discover in the kitchen or the family room as you have decided that the next 30 minutes is time you have set aside for reading or spending time with children or your spouse.
You see, what we say yes to in these situations, often leads us to ‘focus’, in practice (and therefore in truth) on things that in our heads and our hearts are LESS important, than the things we end up not doing. We sacrifice the most important things on the altar of the less important stuff.
This is not good.
The only way to protect our focus for the things that are truly significant is to consciously and deliberately say no to the things that less important. We MUST do this in decision making and we MUST do this in the moment.
These things may be good and important, but if they are less good, less important, then they are a threat to the most important things.
Applications in Life
To be honest, when it comes to application of these matters – that could be a whole post in itself. So I don’t plan to go into detail here today. But, if you are honest, then you know what the applications are.
Life often feels like a maelstrom of things coming at us all of the time. In normal every day life, being intentional about what we say no to and setting our focus is very hard to do. There is always something shouting us and wanting our attention. Sometimes literally.
And so, we should examine how we use our time and what we give our focus to. Do we really want to spend so much time on Instagram or YouTube? Are we happy with the number of evenings each week we crash on the sofa and binge TV? Is it ok with us that often on our way to do something important, we often get side tracked by totally unimportant things, things that could wait.
We have all seen the video of the person going to do something at home. On the way they find a shoe on the floor, so they frustratedly pick it up and head off to put the shoe away. On the way to the shoes, they see some toys, so they divert in order to tidy the toys. In doing this, they spot a glass on the table and so it is off to the kitchen and so on and so on.
Now, there are lessons about the importance of tidying up after yourself. But for today, there is a lesson about not getting side tracked. Sometimes, it is right to say no to these little things to protect the important things.
Applications in vocation
The same principle applies but I will give two examples at either end of the spectrum.
Too many of us do not get important work completed because we allow ourselves to be diverted by every email or chat message that comes our way. Instead of saying no to all of that to engage in deep work, work that makes progress and moves the needle on whatever it is you are doing, we flit back and forth.
This lack of saying no, makes us ineffective in our jobs.
At he larger end of the scale, perhaps the promotion you are being offered is something you need to say no to. Do not fall into the trap of thinking you have to say yes as this is a path you are on and have no control over. If family or church life or a combination of all these things matters more, then protect them by saying no.
Bear in mind an introductory point in a sermon I heard recently. Pressure does funny things to people. It is not just time or travel that will impact your capacity for things beyond your job. Pressure has a huge impact even if it does not change your hours at all.
Applications in Ministry
I have had a few jobs now supporting people in ministry leadership. All of them say that the expectations placed upon them in their role are far beyond their capacity. What I mean is, everyone else seems to be pretty clear on what the leader’s job should be and what their priority should be. But no-one seems to agree on this.
So, if the worker tries to meet all these expectations, their ministry will end up like my plate at the Windjammer cafe – a hot mess. And the worker will end up like I did after I had polished off that entire plate…….. “Just let me lie here and leave me alone for the next 24 hours.”
If you are in ministry….you have to focus.
And that means, you have to choose what you say no to. This will frustrate and disappoint many people. This will mean that there are good things that you do not do.
This is ok. We labour under grace and we are not God. And God does not expect us to be – that job is already taken. I have seen some job descriptions for Ministry Workers where you wonder if even the Lord Jesus shouldn’t bother applying as the expectations are just so huge. This, to be frank, is not ok.
For organisations or churches it is just as, if not even more, important to get our focus clear.
You will have limited people and limited funds. The needs are huge.
This is where vision and purpose comes in but more on that in a later post. As much as we long to be all things to all people at all times and in all places and provide any and every means possible to serve, support, spur on and present salvation, we do not have the capacity. Which is why it is good that different churches and different organisations will have slightly different ministry objectives.
Intentional Focus on what matters most
Our goal with all of this is to be intentionally focussed on what matters most. This is the heart of being effective with the resources given to you.
In the film Men in Black, we find ourselves remembering the shooting range scene. Will Smith is gathered with a number of elite men from every branch of of the Military and other such types. Its dark and there are lights flashing.
Out of nowhere, in the shooting range, emerge a plethora of snarling monsters and aliens. Those gathered start emptying their clips into every single beast that appears.
But not Will Smith.
If you watch closely, you see him identify a potential target and then reject it to move on. He fires a single bullet. Just one bullet.
Rightly or wrongly in the context of the film, he provides an explanation for his actions.
The point is that our energy, our time and our capacity in general, these things are like the bullets in our clip. They will eventually run out.
So, we need to make every shot count.
This is what it means to focus. Reject all the possible targets that, upon mature examination, are simply not as significant as others. Reject them.
Instead, intentionally choose to preserve your time, energy and capacity for things we have made a conscious decision are the most important things.
You cannot do everything….Focus.
